Showmance: "When actors engage in a romance for the run of a show. Once the run is over so is the romance. The term originated in the theater and moved to movies and scripted television and then reality television often occurring first between performers working opposite of each other in a love scene." - urban dictionary
I will fully admit that I have engaged in the world of the showmance throughout my career. I've had short relationships, I've had long relationships. I've fallen in love with men and women, both straight and gay...and what I've come to realize is that I can't help but have a showmance.
Showmance has a tendency to carry quite a negative connotation, but I couldn't disagree more. One of the things I love most about my job(s) is that I get to walk in, grab a cup of coffee and hug the next person who walks in behind me. When it's time to work, we work, and when it's time to rest, there's almost always a built in family to decompress with. Some days, sitting at the dressing table means laughs and giggles and notes left on your mirror. Some days it means having a good cry and a little yoga, or a quick back rub and a moment of wisdom from those who sit beside you.
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| Matt and Anna 2013 |
Working in the theatre means forming bold relationships very quickly. Part of the craft is having access to your heart and a willingness to let it open for others to see. I've been working on a teacher certification in the Michael Chekhov Acting Technique, and last summer at the end of my first intensive, my friend Matt and I were sharing a tearful goodbye and he said to me, "it doesn't take very long to fall in love with someone does it?" I could do nothing but agree. Matt and I are not in love with each other in a romantic way, but I have great love for him. Arriving at our second year of certification last week, I literally crawled through his car window to hug him as he rolled up to unpack. This was moments after I had tackled my best friend Jen to the ground and stood up covered in grass stains. Even after a year apart, my love was bold, strong, and wonderful for both of these Wonders. It was if no time had passed at all. I spent the whole week with people who had entered my heart last summer and some new friends to invite in. I was talking to a new friend on Tuesday and had commented that I felt like we had been friends for years, when it had only been 1.5 days. That's the crazy magical world that I live in.
With this instant connection and enjoyment of close relationships, there is also the fact that contracts end in my life quite frequently. It is a treat to have a contract that lasts longer that 6 weeks! So with constant change of projects, there is a constant change of people and often a mourning period for those whom I've just left. This is never easy. I'm a crier. Usually I cry. But I've gotten better at saying, "See you later" rather than "goodbye" because it is astounding how often and quickly paths recross.
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| Matt and Anna 2014 |
As I was flying home from Ohio yesterday, I received an email from my boss at a theatre I'm teaching at this summer, saying that my co-teacher for the week has passed away the night before. A young guy. A crazy physical ailment that took him away. I had just worked with him the week prior, and now he's gone.
I feel so fortunate to be able to meet so many incredible people in my life and on such a regular basis. It takes courage to reach out and greet someone new, and it is a risk to share your heart in an authentic way, but I will never not love a showmance. I will never not crave the depth of relationship that can be created in moments. I will never apologize for loving someone who should be loved. I don't have time in my life to run away from relationships based on the fear of getting hurt. I love loving.
Sending Love and Joy to all my loves that I have encountered through the years. Until our paths cross again, know I carry you in my heart.
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