Help Me Help Your Student.

Dear Parents,

I have been an arts educator for over ten years.  I have taught literally thousands of students, from kindergarten to professionals, to become better actors, singers, and dancers.  I have also taught students how to respect others, how to have confidence in themselves, how to take chances, and how to try something that scares them.  I take pride in seeing their improvements and achievements  over days and weeks that no outsider is ever aware of when viewing the finished product.   I love my students.  I care about your kids.  I want them to succeed. Your kids are special and special to me.

Now lets talk about you:

If your student comes to camp with a broken arm, are you going to let me know?  I venture to say, yes, you will.  When telling me that your child has a broken arm, am I going to tell you to leave because they won't be able to do all the choreography?  No, I will not...because I'm creative, I can adapt, and I believe every kid should have an opportunity to participate the best that they can if they are willing to try.

If your student has a peanut allergy and comes to camp where we take a snack break or have communal lunch, are you going to let me know or are you going to let your kid have an allergic reaction, much to my surprise?  Oh, that's right...you're going to tell me.  You're also probably going to let me know that they have an EPI pen and when it would be necessary to use it.  Am I going to kick your kid out of class?  Absolutely not.  I simply know that I have to be extra vigilant about students not sharing food on breaks and to make sure that any prop food is approved by you before we put it in a show.

These two examples are a simple illustration of how parents communicate with teachers to help their student be safe and successful...so why is it that you don't ALWAYS disclose other information about your student that makes them special?

About eight years ago, I was working on a children's production and had a student who seemed aloof, disruptive to others, off task, and adamantly resistant to my direction.  I pulled this student aside after another taxing rehearsal and proceeded to have a conversation with them about their disrespect in the room and how that kind of behavior was not acceptable and stood in the way of the whole company's success.  The student looked like they were about to cry and all of a sudden I had a parent step in.  A really lovely parent.  Who really loved their child.  Who put them in this program because they wanted to share with them a new experience that might build their student up.  This parent THEN shared with me that their child had a learning challenge and couldn't read up to the grade level yet that they were in, but that they as a family were working on it.  The parent also shared that this student had ADHD and some social anxiety, so working in an environment like this might have some challenges.  But they also shared how much their student was enjoying their time in this production and how much they raved about coming back to rehearsal when they went home at night.

Now, I ask you...imagine the look on my face.  Imagine the relief I felt that this student wasn't simply being belligerent, but instead that they were shy and nervous and needed a little extra guidance.  That it's not that they couldn't stay on task when we were learning music or text, but that they simply couldn't process the information as quickly as the other students...so it appeared that they were off task on purpose.  Imagine how I felt.  Imagine my relief knowing that I now knew how to help this child.  That I simply needed to make sure they had a buddy when learning new text.  That I knew not to give them the most complicated part of a dance move, but instead create another group of dancers that could move at the same level.  That I needed to adjust what this student was doing and give them what they could handle to be most successful instead of taking their poor behavior as a disciplinary issue and remove them from a portion of the show entirely.

Now imagine how frustrated I was with this parent.  Imagine how betrayed I felt as the teacher that the parent wasn't forthright with this information from the beginning.  Imagine how mad I was that I had gone home the previous few nights frustrated and upset that I couldn't get through this student's poor behavior.  That I had contacted my boss and explained I wasn't sure what else to do, but remove the student from the room.

And now imagine how close this student was to missing an opportunity to succeed.  That because their behavior was interpreted as a respect and disciplinary issue versus a learning/social challenge, they weren't being given all the tools they needed to be successful.  This kid almost missed out on a great experience...which really did turn out to be a great one by the way.  They were awesome when the show opened, and I cast them again the following summer.

I ask you, dear parents, help me help your student!

I would love to say this was an isolated incident, but it isn't.  I have had two similar occurrences, JUST TODAY, on my 8th week of teaching this summer.  A situation like this has happened every week for me this summer, and every year before that.  I am also certain that I am not the only teacher who deals with this on a daily/monthly/yearly basis.

PLEASE, disclose information to me up front about the fact that your student has recently had a change in medication that helps with focus and control.  Let me know that your student has Aspergers  Syndrome or falls on the Autism Spectrum.  Let me know if they struggle with anxiety or can't read as well as they'd like.

None of these things will change how I feel about your child.  None of these things will cause me to 'baby' your child or leave them out.  None of these things will alter my expectation for your student's success.  None of these things will change my goal of making sure that every one of my students is in a safe, welcoming environment where every student has a right to participate in the arts. What it does change is my tolerance of behavior.  It does change how I may make a plan with a student so they hit their cue on time.  It may change how we decide not to pick up a prop until is just time so they don't feel obligated to play with the noise it makes.  It does change the pace at which I may teach certain material.

'Special' is such a loaded term in our society.  It carries a lot of positive and negative connotation.  And your child IS special and unique and an individual.  I fear that you are trying to protect your child from getting 'special' attention when you don't disclose how they are special.  I get that you want them to be treated like everyone else... but the fact is that every human on the planet communicates a little differently.  I haven't met anyone who communicates exactly like I do.  I am, however, sensitive to the fact that people do receive information differently.  That some angles work better than others.  That's what makes me a good teacher...who can work with all kinds of students. When you let me know how your child communicates, I know how better to communicate with them.

Help me help your student.  Don't leave your teacher in the dark.

Sincerely,
Anna